If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
