Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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