Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
