Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
