What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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