I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
