"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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