I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
