I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
