11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
