YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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