you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
