I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
