im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish i was in the wii world.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
