I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
