I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
