Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
