Having a random hookup so left but love u
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
