nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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