I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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