it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
