she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
