i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
