On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
