Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
