All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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