Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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