She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
