Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
