he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Alive.
So much puke
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
