I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
