I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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