ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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