I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
