Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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