susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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