Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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