Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
