I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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