think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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