wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
