Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
