I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
