Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
