.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Still dying that you shit outside
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
