stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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