Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
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