Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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