I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
