is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
